Can’t Afford to Leave: Geelong’s Divorce Dilemma

It used to be that when a relationship ended, one person packed a bag, walked out the front door, and started again. That image, however emotionally messy, at least offered a sense of closure. But in today’s economic climate, particularly in places like Geelong, breakups aren’t so simple.

A growing number of separated couples are continuing to live under the same roof. Not out of love, or even friendship, but because they simply can’t afford to live apart.

In legal circles, it’s called “separated under one roof,” a bureaucratic label for what is, in truth, an emotionally fraught arrangement. Two people who have made the decision to end their relationship are being forced to continue sharing a kitchen, a living room, and often a bed-to-bunk rotation system, because neither can afford rent elsewhere, and the mortgage won’t cover a second home.

What might once have been considered an awkward short-term arrangement is now becoming an economic necessity. And it is happening more often, and more visibly, in Geelong.

This city has felt the full weight of Australia’s housing squeeze. House prices in Geelong have risen steeply over the past decade, in some suburbs, they’ve doubled. Rental prices are climbing just as quickly. As of early 2024, the median weekly rent for a house in Greater Geelong sits at $490, up more than 12 per cent from the year before. Vacancy rates are hovering below 1 per cent. For many single-income households, the numbers simply don’t stack up.

In this environment, separating means making hard choices. Do you split now and both fall into housing stress? Do you delay and live together, navigating the emotional landmines of a breakup in shared quarters? Or do you stay in the relationship not because it works, but because the rent does?

And then there’s the cost of divorce itself, a process many Australians underestimate until they’re in it. For those needing help with property settlements or parenting arrangements, legal fees can easily spiral into the thousands. Even relatively amicable separations can cost tens of thousands. For couples already under financial strain, the cost of getting divorced in Australia is enough to delay the process indefinitely, or push them toward going it alone without legal advice.

The rise in DIY divorce applications reflects this. People are choosing to navigate complex legal terrain on their own, not because they want to, but because it’s all they can afford. In many cases, this includes filling out sworn statements attesting to their “separation under one roof,” including fine-grained details about finances, routines, sleeping arrangements, and the absence of intimacy.

It’s absurd when you think about it: being broken up in the eyes of the law, while brushing your ex’s crumbs off the benchtop each morning.

But behind the absurdity is something serious, the slow erosion of personal freedom under the weight of financial pressure. Divorce, once considered a private decision with personal consequences, is now also a deeply economic one.

This isn’t just a niche issue for separated couples. It has ripple effects. Children are raised in homes where emotional tension can simmer daily. Mental health services are stretched. Women, who are statistically more likely to bear the financial fallout of separation, are especially vulnerable.

And still, little changes.

We talk a lot about affordable housing in policy circles, but too often the conversation stays abstract. The reality in Geelong, and in many other regional centres, is that housing unaffordability is not just a crisis for young buyers or low-income earners. It’s redefining what it means to leave a relationship.

That should concern all of us. Because the right to separate, to live safely and independently, is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. And if we’ve reached the point where Australians can no longer afford to start over, then something is deeply broken in our system.

We need a sharper policy focus on rental affordability, more transitional housing options for those exiting relationships, and better legal and social support systems to guide people through the grey zone of post-separation life.

Otherwise, “separated under one roof” may become the new normal, not because it’s sustainable, but because it’s the only thing people can afford.